Eight Awesome Previously Fictional Gadgets

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Why should we, as relatively smart humans, be forced to spend the rest of our lives without the use of completely fake -yet impressively useful- gadgets? It just isn’t fair! There are far too many pieces of awesomeness floating around in unreality for us not to take advantage of them! So why not find ways to use objects of pure fiction to aid us in our every day activities? I’m on board, so let’s see ways in which this very thing could happen!

8

Star Trek Teleporters

I am a lazy, fat-assed, All-American whiner and I want what I want immediately. And I also want to be where I want to be with as little of me having to do anything as humanly possible. So, rather than lay off a bunch of those NASA scientists who now have nothing to do with their times and big-ass brains, let’s put them to work inventing a teleporting device! And, oddly, this is kinda actually happening: “apparently the JQI team in Maryland recently achieved to transport the quantum state of an atom from one location to another for the first time.” This sounds like something that really needs to be available by Christmas 2012, because if the world doesn’t end on 12/12, we’re really gonna want something cool for the holiday. Granted we’re not talking transporting from here to Neptune or something, but it certainly sounds more promising than the damn Jet Packs we were shafted with.

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7

Predator Invisibility

The Predator flicks (including the versus Aliens stories) were all pretty damn sweet, but it was definitely the original when we first spied the beast fading into nothingness as he stalked the soldiers. Immediately every inner teen-age boy in all of us males wanted nothing more than to be invisible in a high school girl’s locker room. Alas, invisibility has always been a pipe dream ever since we read it in comics, Harry Potter, or even saw Claude Raines pull it off in the classic horror flick. But somehow the Predators made it look that much more plausible. So guess what: “Researchers in Spain have developed an ‘antimagnet’ cloak that could hide objects from magnetic fields.” Now we’re talking! Give this a few more years and we might just have the ability to jerk off right next to chicks right in the bathroom! Or, do other important stuff. Whatever.

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6

Star Wars Rebreathers

Very few things that could be called ‘cool’ occurred during Star Wars Episode I. Sure we got Darth Maul, and… uh… I guess Qui Gon Jinn? Maybe? Anyway, there was a scene where the two Jedis had to go underwater to the Gungan (sigh) fortress and they used some really sweet ‘re-breathers’ so at least we didn’t have to buy into the fact that they could hold their breath for ever, too. Anyway, these things were like the size of a sandwich and apparently turned exhaled CO2 into breathable air. Well by the way, they make them. Granted you only get a few breaths, and I wouldn’t be planning on any long-term SCUBA excursions, but hey… at least it’s a start.

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5

Wolverine’s Claws

Don’t for one second even try to front that you haven’t ever dreamed of having razor sharp claws that pop out of your fists a la Wolverine. And despite the ridiculous structure of that previous sentence, the fact still remains that it would be resoundingly amazing to, at will, produce knives from your hands. Well, though it may not be exactly like the comics, this, too, has been done and by none other than the sexy Kari Byron from Mythbusters! Here you can actually see one of the claws Kari used to shred the material off the original plane prior to duct taping the entire thing! Also, she’s wearing Vans! This fact is neither here nor there, I just happen to really love Kari Byron. Anyway… Wolverine’s Claws! Damn! And what are they good for? Really? I can tick off twenty things at least in the amount of time it took me to write this sentence!

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4

Doctor Who’s TARDIS

Okay, well not actually a 1960’s Police Call Box from Britain that’s far bigger on the inside (3 pools?) than it is on the outside, but there’s definitely the time travel aspect! For years scientists have been mulling over the idea and possibilities of traveling through time. Can we? Will we? Do we need to hire Dean Stockwell? All of these things are worth consideration, but many different heads have come up with many different thoughts as to how we might be able to do this. Well that’s all well and good, but what could we possibly use to do this? Space ships? Deloreans? Well, according to Dr. Michio Kaku, yes. You would need a really tough ship and a really convenient wormhole. The video is fascinating and I’m inclined to believe everything this man has to say. Now where’s my warp drive?

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3

Superman’s Bullet Resistance

As the old adage goes: ‘Guns don’t kill people, bullets do’, and it’s the truth. Unfortunately, once man-made the leap from sharpened sticks and swords and arrows to far more deadly bullets, other man sought ways to defend themselves against said bullets. Sure, you could hide your flesh-baggy self in a tank or behind some armor plating, but what about something more convenient and easier to, ya know, wear. Well, fortunately, there’s such a thing a liquid metal alloy that behaves like a rubber or plastic effectively absorbing the impact and deflecting the force outward instead of toward the target! And yes, it’s kind of like the Terminator, only slightly less unrealistic. In fact, in the series of Sigma Force novels by James Rollins, this particular armor is written fictionally, but is cited in the end as something that the military has already put into use. Now that’s useful.

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2

The Phasers From Star Trek

Remember when you first saw that searing line of molten light erupt from the hero’s blaster and stared in awe as it felled the foe? Yeah, we all knew at the time -well, knew but hoped the opposite- that lasers (as it turns out, an acronym for: light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation- who knew?) and phasers were just imagination and no one could ever wield one as a weapon, let alone use one for any reason. Well then along came real life applications for things like surgeries, precision cutting in factories, and even things like engraving and metal etching, all done with lasers! But what about toting a hand-held version around for instances like vaporizing your enemy’s face in battle? Yeah, not so much… or so we thought: “The Air Force has already developed three weapons systems that are being tested and, in some cases, used. These systems include the Airborne Laser (Advanced Tactical Laser), the PHaSR and the Active Denial System.” Which means, kids, lasers and phasers could, some day, be in your hands! According to How Stuff Works: “There are several lasers currently being used for military purposes.” Now if we could just figure out Lightsabers…

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1

James Bond Spy Cars

Sure, you could have the highest military rank around, or even work for Her Majesty’s Secret Service, but you’re only so cool until you drive an Aston Martin tricked out with more gadgets than you read about: guns, oil slicks, smoke screens, rockets, wings, skis, tank turrets… you get the idea. Or, why not emulate the Dark Knight himself? Batman has his own auto decked out with just as many, of not more, than a Q-built machine… but I digress. But, sadly, this kind of vehicle has really kind of sat in cinematic/comic book obscurity… right? Well, for the most part, yes. Sure the Military has epic vehicles loaded down with weapons and stuff, but these are in any way hidden or used for any kind of espionage, so we need to turn to individuals who want to take the task upon themselves. Especially, this guy: ThawedHead says, “Who hasn’t wanted a car that would shoot missiles when someone is in your way? I came up with the idea of having a simulated car chase through the streets of Paris, as if James Bond was being pursued by enemy agents and he needed to rely on the gadgets that Q blessed his car with.” Exactly! This cat knows what’s going down! In fact, if you click on the link, he takes you through the entire process! This is stuff we can all do! We don’t need no stinkin’ Q! I think my Buick would look really sweet…

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