Hulu died on October 21st, 2009, a victim of a severe case of SEM (Stupid Executive Meddling) Syndrome, as they decided to make it a paid service. It was two years old, cut down in its prime.
Hulu burst onto the scene as a dynamic new voice in distributing television. Sure, it was just the old way of TV except on the Internet, but amazing, as long as they didn’t have to pay for it, people didn’t mind sitting through some ads to watch basic cable TV shows. But like all great artists, Hulu fell victim to syncophants and its own excesses.
Hulu rapidly lost all of its friends and the were replaced with hangers-on that convinced it that it was the only one showing TV shows anywhere on the Web and that its users would gladly accept any abuse. Indeed, that they would greet the idea of suddenly being forced to pay for content where before it was free with hosannahs and dancing. It was addicted to the insidious drug known as “subscription fees”, which alter the users brain chemistry into thinking people will actually pay for things on the Internet. Hulu, unable to use this dangerous drug well, overdosed and accidentally was crushed under a wave of bad press.
And so, we are here, to mourn Hulu, to bury its code and move on, its bereaved users falling back into the arms of Torrents, its content providers blithely ignoring its death as an anomaly. But let us not grieve, or despair. Hulu may have fallen prey to the utter stupidity of television executives who honestly think ”The Vampire Diaries” is as high quality as “Mad Men”, but soon another site will rise to take its place. We can only hope it learns from Hulu’s, and our, loss.
Donations in the deceased’s name may be made to the Gunaxin Beer Fund.